Embarassing Kid Shit, Good Memories or Not So Good Memories?


As time passes, memories from my childhood get increasingly fuzzy and hard to remember. It sorta sucks because there’s so much chaos as a youngster that you wish you could remember all your silly and stupid stories.  But then there are those moments of total embarrassment that stick in your head like a vivid memory.  And thankfully, those will always stay burned in the mind map of your adult brain.


One thing I do remember was having this favorite and totally rude t-shirt that I used to wear all the time.  I won some sort of silly carnival game (probably darts and a balloon) and was able to pick an iron-on of a really funny cartoon image.  I remember my sister carefully ironing it on for me on your basic white t-shirt and then my running off to show it off proudly.  What exactly was on that t-shirt??


Hah, before I tell you, understand that I had NO clue what it meant.  And probably neither did my immigrant mother.  But it was a brightly colored tree felled over with a big, smiling and toothy beaver next to the tree.  And yeah, you can guess what the t-shirt said:  “Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!”  And I thought it was the funniest damn thing given how it was a clever twist on a phrase.  Yeah, I wore that t-shirt a lot over two summers and there MUST have been some double-take’s from adults.  I’m not sure what kind of mom I had, letting me out with that t-shirt on….


The other embarrassing moment I could think of was hanging out in the back of my friend’s Jeep Grand Cherokee as we headed off for ice cream or something.  Understand that my friend’s family was a very conservative and well-off family.  Well-off in the tens of millions and maybe the hundred million dollar level.  I mean they actually have a family foundation doing charity work in New England now.


So I’m in the back seat of the jeep and some idiot cuts the vehicle off and is just being a Mass-hole in general.  I’m not sure what gets into me, maybe I was feeling a bit randy but anger wells up in me like water coming through a fire hose.  Not remembering where I’m at, I scream out a loud “Fuck you” at the offensive vehicle and blow out the double-barreled middle-fingers to this transgressor.  And of course in the Jeep, total silence and shock.  And yes, I’m totally embarrassed with nowhere to go.  We get to our destination, I give a sheepish look, shoulders rounded over and skulk away as everyone one disembarks from the Jeep, ouch….


Yeah, youth is wasted on kids and sometimes I guess I’m glad my memories are fading.  And I guess if you want to remember them, all you need to do is blog them online, eh?




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